“If it wasn't for the community here in Minneapolis, I wouldn't know the power of praying with tobacco, I wouldn't know that beading and regalia making is soothing to the soul. That drumming would free me to grieve, or that dancing in regalia was attainable for me in my genderqueer self.”
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. © Mo.
Details
Storyteller: Mo
Tribe: Beardy's and Okemasis’ Cree Nation
Created: 2018
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Transcript: I grew up wondering where I belonged. I knew pain! Emotional, physical, spiritual, sexual. I used school and books as my safety. Yes, I knew HOPE. I aspired to wholeness. I tried alcohol, drugs, sex to escape my feelings, yet they never sufficed, I tried meth one day and it changed my life. I knew I didn’t want to travel that road of the people I used with. I did not want to become a bitter person. I wanted to get out of my life as it was. I knew I wanted to be myself. I decided to be sober, prayed for guidance, and was led to recovery with my stay at Kateri residence. I followed the program which included 20 hours of self-care a week, AA, therapy, cultural teachings and events, and a thriving GLBT community. I found home and a place to love myself. A genderqueer Two Spirit boi-femme Nehiyaw Iskwew. I continue to strive to be a better Mo each day. My life was a mixture of love and terror, uncertainty. Different abuses by my mom, male cousins, uncles, and a grandfather. Yet fun times with my huge families at gatherings, where we made forts and laughed and joked and fought. Fun times. I love my family regardless of the way that the traumas I endured came through them, because it didn’t truly come through them. It came from the intergenerational trauma we as Native people endure and have coped with since the arrival of Europeans. I am here! And I love me today! If it wasn't for the community here in Minneapolis, I wouldn't know the power of praying with tobacco, I wouldn't know that beading and regalia making is soothing to the soul. That drumming would free me to grieve, or that dancing in regalia was attainable for me in my genderqueer self. The best parts of me come from Indigenous pathways. I love to dance in my men’s traditional regalia, bead, sing with my hand drum, and pray with tobacco, it is definitely the life I love to live. I learned that I could embrace certain teachings, and still be true to me as a Two Spirit. I was influenced by the many teachings I received from various mentors and Elders to choose culture over my Christian upbringing. Smudging, praying with tobacco, drumming, beading, dancing powwow, all came into my life from immersing myself into community. I love Minneapolis!