Details

Storyteller: Jill
Tribe: Hocak (Ho-Chunk)
Created: 2018
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Transcript: From the time I can remember culture influenced every experience in my life. I remember always having a sense I was the other, I was different in every way. Although I am enrolled Hocak, I am also half White. My Mom is Hocak, Potawotami and Kaw and my Dad is German and Irish.

With my Hocak relatives anything I did that was not acceptable, respectable or honorable...it was because I was half White. With my White relatives, I would hear racist comments about Natives but they 'never were referring to me' and they would tell me how they loved but pitied me because my Mom was a party girl and unfit mother. They would make fun of my language, traditional dress and cultural beliefs. I developed a tough skin and learned how to take an offensive joke and laugh it out when in my heart I was lost without a sense of belonging or purpose. Outside of my family, I always noticed the jokes and stereotypes and up until I was in 8th grade I took the harassment, racist comments and acts as a victim, Until one day in the height of a Native American mascot protest happening at my middle school as I was getting pushed around and spit on by White kids that did not want the mascot to be changed...I fought back...and got suspended from school for fighting while the White kids only got 'talked to' without any consequence. That was where I noticed an even deeper divide it was us vs. them aka mainstream society and I knew where I stood even if I was not accepted anywhere.

My Mom had me when she was 17 and my Dad had custody of me because my Mom tried to commit suicide when I was little because she lost both my baby sister and grandmother (her mother) in the same two-week time period. Both parents did the best they could with what they were given, both grieving and children themselves. Although my Dad was White, I was Hocak at heart, and culturally identified with my Mom, Nanis and Kakas. I was fortunate to being given the traditional Hocak way of life and ran back to the ceremony and my community whenever I could. I grew up traditional Hocak and there were always cultural differences prevalent in daily life. From what was being accepted as a holiday to cultural ceremonies that were excused, to the stereotypes of what a Native person was supposed to look like or not.

My children and family have always influenced my life the most. Particularly the women in my family, my great-grandmothers, grandmothers, mothers, sisters, and daughters...they are all healers, they are my greatest teachers...they walk with me, guide me, are always in my heart, spirit and watch over me, They have given me a sense of belonging and grounded me in humility, hard work and purpose.

I have lived many places and that has affected my worldview and acceptance and love of diverse cultures. I love to share stories of diverse peoples journeys, and cultural similarities with Hocak culture. Stories give me a sense of connectedness, spirituality and healing. Culture is so important to having a sense of belonging, balance and understanding a community to finding solutions to health and well-being.