Details

Storyteller: Jessica
Tribe: Oneida Nation & Stockbridge-Munsee Band of the Mohicans
Created: 2018
Location: Duluth, MN
Transcript: At a young age I suspected there was a connection between stress, trauma and Native health. I remember distinctly, being a kid and hearing about stress being related to a heart attack. I wondered how does that happen? If stress is related to a heart attack, then it must be related to other health problem. Like the ones that were in my family and among other Natives.

Growing up I witnessed my family and other Natives suffering from complicated illnesses, behavioral health struggles, suicide, Alzheimer’s, autoimmune disorders, arthritis, anger, low affect. I wondered what led to all of this.

As a child and young adult, I experienced multiple traumas and losses. Sexual abuse, sexual assaults, dating violence, and other forms of violence were experienced from age 3 and into my 20’s. As a teen I ended up with several behavioral health challenges and in high school I became pregnant, placing my daughter in an adoption. Over time my own mental health declined, and I was diagnosed with depression, PTSD, and dissociative disorder. Eventually, my physical health began to decline as well.

My interest in understanding how health outcomes come to be sent me on two distinct paths. After high school I started at community college, although I was never much into school and my behavioral health struggles continued. I got pregnant again at 18 and had my son as I started my third year at college. I never earned my nursing degree but in the process of my efforts to escape violence, I did learn persistence to succeed in school. As often as possible I would go to campus to get away from home. Going to class meant relief. 

The other path led me to understand that I could recover from my mental health struggles. But it was my son who gave me the motivation to take on the recovery challenge. One day my teen son came to me with tears in his eyes almost begging me to share with him more about my life. He said that he felt like he barely even knew me. I was heartbroken. I knew how he felt because that’s how I felt about my mom. I was determined to heal and recover so I could be a better mom. This meant learning to be vulnerable so I could express myself, and fully engage in the healing process. Eventually I made it to a place in life where I was sufficiently recovered and could refocus on my life purpose. 

I made a commitment to help understand how stress, trauma, colonization, social and political factors, and resilience affect behavioral and physical health and wellbeing for Native individuals, families and communities. To fulfill this commitment, I went back to school AGAIN. This time was not to escape violence but to get my PhD, become a researcher, and serve my people.

I am now where I am supposed to be, conducting Native health research and studying stress, trauma, and resilience.

The Stockbridge remind us that getting through life and emerging with strength often involves “many trails”. These pathways can involve hills and valleys, or in research talk, these are also known as mediators and moderators.