Details

Storyteller: Barb
Tribe: Fond du Lac Band of Ojibwe
Created: 2018
Location: Duluth, MN
Transcript: Who am I?  Let me tell a little bit about me.  To begin, I have an intact nuclear family of four.  Our son is a First Nation Cree from “Norway House. MAN., CA. Our daughter is biological.  We have 3 adult grand children from our daughter. Our son gave us 2, a boy and a girl, who are still teens, our son's family structure is splintered, chaotic, dysfunctional.  I have a large extended family. Six brothers, four sisters.  All of my extended family is alive and healthy, active in their communities, interested in the larger world around them.  Most live close by one another and gather regularly to laugh and share mile- stones, birthdays, holidays, Pow Wows, etc. My Parents and Grandparents on my Mom's side are Native, MN Chippewa Tribe, and Fond Du Lac Band as far as we can determine.  My Dads people immigrated from Canada and probably were First Nation but we have no proof. I went to Levi, Quebec to research family and have a very beginning effort to my Dads genealogy. My Moms side is almost as difficult to trace. Her Dad, our Grandpa we know, we know his parents names but largely the history is missing. Gramma's birth story is ambiguous and sketchy beyond her parent's names.

In the beginning of my story my memory is of my Mom, her Mom, Gram, and my Aunt Harriet.  They are sitting at the kitchen table drinking tea. They would be talking quietly. I wanted to know what they were saying, I tried hiding under the table. I was shooed outdoors. I don't know how or why, but I knew they were discussing stuff that pertained to relatives I did not know or had seldom seen.  Or they were whispering about relatives who were having some difficulties, they were talking about: native ways, native spirituality. All very mysterious and somehow taboo. I somehow got the impression that this was bad. I wanted to know more about what they knew but I was powerless. I am a fraternal twin. I was the "dark" one of the two of us. This was mentioned regularly. I was asked, “are you the dark one?” I was ashamed, I became paranoid, felt different and I wanted to fade into the background.

Yes, I think about my culture. I believe all my brothers and sisters take great pride in our native heritage. We all needed to get a learning curve about the specifics of what we missed as urban non-reservation raised people. And we have all spent varying amounts of time re-acquainting ourselves with our culture and who in our shared background our role models were, or are.  Who to look up to and point with pride.  My grandpa was the Captain of, “The Steamer America".  He was a legend on the north shore of Lake Superior.  “Indian Smith”, could find his way safely down the shore in dense fog by listening to the echo bouncing off the shore! My Grandma Kate once worked at the Fairlawn Museum as a maid!  Gus Lemieux, my Grandma Kates’,  brother? cousin?; had the original Fond du Lac roles which he retrieved from the family vault to show us our relatives names.  He was the guardian of the roles in order to protect from those who wanted to rewrite that document. Wow!  My sister Joy is a recognized, accomplished native artist who has been invited to and has her dolls at the Native American Smithsonian Museum in Washington, DC.  On Grandpa - Grandpa Captain Smith’s side, I have a cousin who was a Benedictine Sister at St. Scholastica.  She did her Master's thesis on, “Chippewa Music".  Fabulous and amazing. I am different from my family only because of the geographic distance I am from everyone. I fly my Band's flag on special occasions and wear my regalia with great humility and respect. When I think of my forbearers I ask the Great Spirit to bless them and me. I keep a long skirt handy in the glove compartment of my vehicle should an opportunity arise that requires I demonstrate and show that occasion honor and respect. I am ready.

I have lived primarily in the Midwest. For the last 25 years I have lived in Alaska. All my life I have had a relationship, a connection with the land and the water. I have always had the opportunity to work with the soil. I love gardening, growing vegetables and flowers. I have lived, camped, fished and thrived on the land. We camped for several weeks in the summer on an island near Atikokan, Canada. We did this all during our children's goin - growing up years.  We traveled around the Great Lake Gitchigome! I have grown to know that my genes, my DNA are bonded to the land. I feel a kinship when I am in the forest. I feel a strong compelling need to be up high. To look over the panorama that unfolds when I hike the mountains; as I now do in the land I have adopted as my own; Alaska. I think about the ancient ones. Those that trod the earth and ventured long before me. What did they see? What did they feel? I know I am just a speck in time and I pray that my people, my family, my tribe continues to stay connected, continues to respect and honor this wonderful planet, our land.

The Pow Wow is significant for me.  My birth family have all shared this cultural activity, as well as my family... The color, the pageantry, the dancing, the fry bread odors, meeting and greeting family and friends. All wonderful! But, the most significant part for me is the drum.  The drumming and singing. The first time I heard the singing and felt the drum, they were occurring in combination. I had a visceral, hair-raising effect on me. I had goose bumps all over my body, my brain was trying to explode and trying to take in all the nervous messages it was receiving. I was in the hall at UMD and the gym doors were open. The sound and rhythm l heard was coming through and echoing in the hallway.  I was transported. I was almost afraid to go into the gym. I really can't explain the affect nor effect. I just know it was another DNA moment. I was experiencing the ancient cultural connection with my ancestors. My people were part of me and I was part of them. I am so so invigorated by my cultural connection. It makes me glad to be alive. I need to share these thoughts with my family. 

We pretty much don't discuss among ourselves. We continue to participate in all events we can together. Dinners. feasts, exercise, gatherings, gardening, fishing, etc. And because we all want to see these types of activities sustained we actively support and participate, to demonstrate our enthusiasm for tribal cultural activities. I believe we are all on the same page with the joy and satisfaction we each get out of tribal and band events. I am an “original” I have always been here. I will always be here. I am Native! Miigwech.